Wife of former Conservative MP Dave Batters reaching out to those with depression
Leader Post, June 17th, 2010

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REGINA — As the one-year anniversary of Dave Batters' death nears, his wife Denise is making a plea to those struggling with depression: don't suffer in silence — get help.

The former Palliser MP took his life last June 29 at his east Regina home.

In September 2008 — mere days before an expected federal election call — the Conservative MP said he would not seek re-election because of problems with depression and prescription drug dependency. He added he'd disclosed this with the hope that others suffering from mental health conditions would seek assistance.

"He was a very conscientious MP and he thought he owed it to his constituents to let them know," said Denise in an interview Thursday. "Our family decided to be open about how he died, thinking it would help people. And I think it has."

Batters entered the House of Commons in June 2004 and was re-elected in 2006.

He was admitted to hospital on July 1, 2008 and later issued a statement confirming he was on medical leave and had been ill for months.

To raise awareness about mental illness, friends and family are holding the Dave Batters Memorial Golf Tournament at the Royal Regina Golf Club on June 24.

The 76 golf spots are sold out, but $60 tickets for a post-tournament dinner can be purchased by calling Troy Edwards at 777-0547 or e-mailing davebatters@accesscomm.ca.

"There's been a major outpouring of support — even a year later," Denise said. "People certainly haven't forgotten about him and they think it's a really good idea that we're continuing to raise awareness about these issues ... I always wondered if Dave knew how many people so deeply cared about him and would have done anything to help him."

She believes society neglects the emotional needs of middle-aged men, so the fundraiser's proceeds will go to the Canadian Mental Health Association (Saskatchewan division) to produce TV commercials urging depressed men to seek treatment.

"I think there's a societal expectation that men will carry on and that it's not manly to say that you're feeling depressed or feeling anxious," said Dave Nelson, CMHA executive director. "You pull yourself by your bootstraps and you just keep working harder. That may work depending on how significant the issue is. For some people, some of the time, that does not work. Because of that societal expectation, many people do not seek help in a timely way."

One in 10 people has or will suffer from depression, he said.

"Not everyone will have depression to the extent of suicidal thoughts, but clinical depression — as opposed to just feeling blue — is the most common mental health problem," Nelson said. "The good news is that it is also the most successfully treated mental health condition. But anywhere from 60 to 80 per cent of people who have clinical depression do not go to get help."

Denise worries depressed people might share Dave's mindset that their situation will never improve.

"We need to chip away at that and say, 'You are not alone.' There are many others who are suffering with these sorts of illnesses, but there is help — please reach out. People want to help you.

"Another thing they get in their heads is, 'Everyone would be better off without me. I'm such a burden to everyone. It's especially tough in that age category and gender because they're used to carrying the load themselves."

Denise said her husband's ordeal began with anxiety — a condition closely linked to depression.

"Some people might think that happy outgoing exterior that he had was just a mask — that really he was a troubled, depressed individual," she said. "Really, he wasn't. He was a Type A personality his whole life — a workaholic, a perfectionist. And then, probably politics led to increased anxiety. Being a minority government, (he was) constantly worrying about the threat of an election."

Denise said Dave's pill use escalated, then led to a dependency on benzodiazepines, typically prescribed for anxiety and sleep disorders.

"When he and his doctor came up with a regime to detox from all that medication, he thought that would be the end of the story and that he'd be OK," Denise said. "That's when he wasn't OK. That's when the depression kicked in and he lost hope. If you don't have hope, you don't have much."

Dave was 39 when he committed suicide.

"Our community and our country lost a great person too — not just his family," Denise said.

Colleagues, including Prime Minister Stephen Harper, attended his funeral and some remain in contact with Denise.

"I was just in Ottawa last week and had a chance to visit with a lot of them and had a little visit with the prime minister as well," she said. "He'll be unable to come to the tournament, but he'll be sending a video message to the golf tournament dinner."

In the days after Dave's death, Denise turned to family and friends and sought counselling at the Greystone Bereavement Centre.

Sadly, a number of special occasions brought fresh grief.

"His birthday was two weeks after his death and our anniversary was a month after," Denise said. "My sister got married a week after the anniversary. There were a lot of those things immediately after and I wonder if I really experienced them."

As Dave struggled for the last 18 months of his life, Denise took "every possible step I could have to help.

"He knew that, but he lost hope," she said. "Not that he wanted to die — he wanted to end the pain."

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