Author Topic: Stories of important relationships  (Read 912 times)

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July 26, 2012, 12:02:12 AM

Hi Everyone
I work for a children's therapuetic service in Aus and my organisation is running a series of workshops for child protection week which is in Sept. I am presenting a workshop for non-therapists in the child protection system about developing theraputic bonds with children who have exerienced abuse and truama. It will be about ways that they can build a strong healing relationship with a young person without having to be their 'therapist'.
What I need, to make the presentation more powerful, is a story/stories from people who have experienced abuse and truama about an important relationship from when they were a child, that is not a therapist. For example a story about an important teacher who you know cared and that got you through tough times, or a child safety worker who really tried to get to know you and what you wanted/needed, or a youth worker who could sit with you whilst you had a meltdown without judgment. Unfortunately I have not been able to find anything like this and so I am hoping some of you might be able to help. I am hoping that a true story, rather than a case study, might help the professionals attending go 'ah, so I can make a difference'. I hoping that it will create awareness about the kids' needs which often get lost in a system that often forgets to take their voices into account.
If anyone is willing they could either post an story here, or PM me? Please only share if you feel comfortable for me to share it in my presentation. I think it would be more powerful if we can put a name to it, but doesnt need to be full name only first, and only if you would be comfortable.

Thanks
little.me


July 26, 2012, 12:14:32 AM
Reply #1
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hmm... at the moment I can't think of anything, but that doesn't mean there wasn't one, just means I can't think at the moment. :)  If I think of one I will gladly share it.  I hope there is someone here who can help you with the presentation.
“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." ~ pooh

"Inevitably, the tears of heartbreak water the heart they came from, and we grow."~Luke Storms


July 26, 2012, 12:22:04 AM
Reply #2
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Well, I had a couple of nice teachers but neither of them I took personal stuff to. Sorry, got nothing for you.
Hate is so ugly, no matter how much religion you wrap around it.~Mox


July 26, 2012, 07:21:27 AM
Reply #3
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little.me, if I think of something, I will certainly let you know.
For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.
Carl Sagan


July 26, 2012, 07:55:48 AM
Reply #4

It doesn't have to be a person who you spoke to about the abuse or trauma, just someone who was important to you at the time and made it easier to get through. It could be a teacher who showed you kindness that let you think 'someone cares about me'. Could be a youth worker who tried to reach out to you when you were rebelling and stuck it out.. doesnt have to be someone who helped you work through things, just someone whose presence and actions meant a lot to you. I hope that makes sense.


July 26, 2012, 11:09:08 AM
Reply #5
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Well, my nice teachers were nice to everyone. I did not talk to them in private. Actually, I had a bunch of nice teachers. I went to a high school that was built "open style" like you'd find in a warm climate, only where I'm from isn't a warm climate in the winter. We'd freeze in the winter because the bus I rode on, the driver would drop us off early and we'd have to stand out in the open hall and freeze. If it was raining or spitting snow we'd have to stand in that, too because the teachers were not required to open their classrooms until a certain time. In the 10th grade all of the girls on my bus would try to jam into the girls bathroom in the main building. My friend and I finally found out that one of the teachers got there super early and she'd let us in to her classroom so we could stay warm. It beat the heck out of being jammed into the potty with a bunch of other girls.
Hate is so ugly, no matter how much religion you wrap around it.~Mox


July 26, 2012, 11:34:16 AM
Reply #6
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There was the teacher I almost told about the abuse to, and the counselor who just wasn't listening.
“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." ~ pooh

"Inevitably, the tears of heartbreak water the heart they came from, and we grow."~Luke Storms


August 16, 2012, 09:23:32 PM
Reply #7

I thought I would share mine to see if that sparked anything. Ideally I don't want to have to use mine as I will be presenting to other professionals, some which I have a working relationship.. also i have never said that stuff out loud before which could pose a problem ha ha

Miss R. didn’t know that I wasn’t doing well at home. By grade three it was at least a weekly occurrence that my brother would shut me in his closet, or force me under his bed, and touch me. Then his friend would do it too. At the time school was my escape. I knew Miss R wanted me there and she would let me sit with her at lunch time and read out the songs I had written.

When she went on leave she sent me letters to let me know she was thinking of me.  I still have her letters 20 years later. Sometimes I pull it out and read them, just to remind myself that someone cared. Even though I never told her what was going on, it was enough to get me through just knowing that someone was thinking of me.

little.me


August 17, 2012, 12:16:31 AM
Reply #8
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That's good little.me, although I'm sorry that happened to you. I had a friend who married a family friend when I was a teenager. She had me babysit her kids in the summer and we ran around together a lot. She and her husband knew that my parents did not do anything with us (my brother and I). My brother spent a lot of time at their house shooting hoops with her husband and her son. They sort of adopted us, so to speak. That was really nice of them.
Hate is so ugly, no matter how much religion you wrap around it.~Mox


August 17, 2012, 03:55:02 PM
Reply #9
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I am glad that there was Miss R. to care about you when you needed.  Sorry that you had to go through what you did.  (((((((((((((((Littleme))))))))))))))))
“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." ~ pooh

"Inevitably, the tears of heartbreak water the heart they came from, and we grow."~Luke Storms


August 17, 2012, 04:29:48 PM
Reply #10
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I was friends with 2 sisters, both named 'P'.  Mr & Mrs N had me over at their house for supper often.  As a teen, the N family travelled north to Mrs N's family home for a week or 2 every summer & invited me to 'keep the girls company'.  I wonder now if it was to get me out of the house.  They really were very kind to me.  they also took me to church on Sundays - not in a preachy or hoping-to-convert sort of way, but again, looking back, they offered it as a 'keeping the girls company' thing - there was always a Sunday drive after & an icecream or something.  & now as an adult, I wonder if they understood my situation and were really offering my an out.   

I liked to observe this couple b/c they were reasonably normal.  Mr. N would surprise Mrs. N with flowers sometimes.  They'd sit and read the paper in the same room.  They all ate supper together.  Not like my family at all.
For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.
Carl Sagan


August 18, 2012, 07:19:28 AM
Reply #11

Thanks Sadie and Moreso for sharing, its really helpful.


August 18, 2012, 10:38:07 AM
Reply #12
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Hate is so ugly, no matter how much religion you wrap around it.~Mox


August 18, 2012, 02:04:36 PM
Reply #13
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For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.
Carl Sagan


August 19, 2012, 09:26:21 PM
Reply #14

Moreso would you be happy for me to use what you have written? And if so would it be ok if it put 'Moreso' at the bottom or a different tag.