Just for fun I will list as many Ts as I can recall going to. The list is long, get comfortable!!
1. A nice grad student @ the university - don't remember much more than that
(when I finished working with her, I gave her a very tiny box of peach candies - she said 'I'm Hypoglycemic!' instead of 'thank you'
2. Ms. Daly (I saw her weekly - lol! - this is what passes for a joke with me!)
- she helped me sort things out so I could leave my hometown
3. Bella - my 1st T in The Little Apple!! She was pretty good. This place had a big bunch of Ts and Ts in training. They assigned some Idiot to work with Bella & me. He often hugged me - this was pretty much how everyone was @ this place, though. Lots of hugging. I'm not that comfortable with hugs. I would tolerate Bella hugging me. Anyway one day the Idiot was absent & I told Bella how much his hugs put me off. So we worked out a little speech for me to give him. Next time he hugged me I gave him 'the speech'. He was absolutely! delighted! that I was brave! enough to tell him this information! &, I am not shitting you, Idiot hugged me again. Bella intervened. I don't recall him being around that much after that.
3. Group Art Therapy @ Bella & company's place. Probably the best therapy experience ever. Everyone was so nice. It was a wonderful grp. The fact that it was art therapy just meant that we would draw something about the night's topic and then talk a bit about it. No art skills required! Just make some marks on the ppr & you're good to go. The grp was led by 2 or 3 Ts & ~10 ppl were in the grp. Very supportive ppl. It took a while but I started to feel like maybe there was a place for me in the world. I am glad my current T suggested grp therapy b/c I don't feel like I belong anywhere again. Grp art therapy was a cpl of months where I felt sort of normal.
4. After yrs of lots of probs with 1st OH, we made the rounds of couples therapists:
4a) Bella was one of them. She didn't get that I was very disturbed about all the stuff he was doing to me. I quit seeing her altogether & phoned her up yrs later to tell her that I thought she was way off base in not supporting me. I felt like she didn't even believe what I told her. She hung up on me.
4b) Some guy with greasy hair that I don't think had any clue about what was happening. He also didn't seem to understand what 1st OH was doing.
4c) Joan Somebody (interesting thing, I have lived on the same block as her office for 10+ yrs now - I shake my head every time I pass) suggested we trade housecleaning for sex. Ms. Somebody, you are a fucking genius. Thank you for your creative solution.
4d) Believe it or not, there were a cpl of others that were even more useless!! I just can't force myself to remember them.
So why did all of those ppl not take me seriously??? Is spousal assault ok if it happens to me?
5) Found a new T who got it. She helped me get the courage together to get the hell out of there. When I told her what he did, she got tears in her eyes. Maybe that is a bit extreme but at least I knew she heard me. LD has a real gift for therapy. She has been through alot in her life and overcome many things. I would recommend her any time.
6) Dr. Dick Cheapsox: my family dr referred me when I was having problems. Dr. Cheapsox was part of a large stable of Ts. The reception area looked tidy and the place seemed to be well-run. Soooo, I get let into Dick's office & see a vast desk with a big comfy chair and ... a cpl of ratty small chairs. wtf? So I sat in one of the small chairs (almost like those kiddy chairs) & find that when Dick walks in and pulls up his adult size comfy chair, I have to look up to see his face. When I don't, I get a really good look @ his white, bony, hairy shins and his crappy grey pilled polyester socks :sick: - probably b/c he is likely wearing cheap pants that ride way up and expose his shins and socks. Holy Crap-A-Moley. Anyway, this appt was scheduled about 2 weeks after my family dr had started me on an AD & Dick said there was no way he was going to work with someone 'on drugs'. He had already said some stupid, condescending things and even though only 20 mins had passed I got up out of the small chair & said, 'Dick, this isn't going to work.' I wanted to tell him that was a condescending, passive-aggressive misogynist but didn't. As I went through reception they asked 'do you want another appointment?' I said 'With Dr. Cheapsox? Are you kidding?' I told my family dr what an ass the guy is & to reconsider referring patients to him. She was really nice about hearing my opinion. She said that some other patients didn't seem to click with him but they didn't go into detail. I asked if they were women & she said 'hmmm ... yes!'
7) The Viking Dude - another referral. All he knows is CBT. He only sees ppl for X sessions and you buy the CBT book & you do the X sessions of CBT with Viking & then he kicks your sorry ass out into the snow.
8) Sleeping Beauty - well, not really a beauty. @ the 1st appt, this one impressed me with her sensitivity and ppl skills when she told me I was 'too old to go back to school' & asked why i wanted 'to learn acupuncture anyway?' b/c 'no one just wants acupuncture'. 2nd appt, she was nodding off. The end.
9) Dr. Stretchpants - Other than golfers and back-up dancers in Vegas, who wears sky-blue stretch pants and shirts? With a silver bracelet? Dr. Stretchpants, that's who!! (the good dr is a man, btw) This guy was SO EXCITED TO WORK WITH ME!!! He even tried to sell me HIS VERY OWN RELAXATION CDS!!! Physician, heal thyself. The end.
10) Dr. F. He was great. He is a psychoanalyst but if a person can't go to several appts a week, he adjusts his style. I learned alot with him. He eventually got a bona fide psychoanalysis couch & it was off-putting to say the least. We were able to work something out where i could 'ease' into the couch. btw, with this style, the T sits in a chair out of your line of sight. Nope, that was not happening! So he moved his chair to where I could see him & I sat on the couch. by the time I finished there, it was full on psychoanalysis style and I was fine with it. I had to quit going for a cpl of reasons. I didn't work in the area anymore, my new job pd way less $ & he began to charge for the time that he spent in consultation with other Ts. Even though we worked out a reduced fee, it was too much, esp with all the other things. But I would still recommend him. (Even though he wore a funny hat)
11) OH#2 is having some probs so his family dr makes a referral. Before the appt, the pdoc says he never just sees the patient if they are in a relationship, he sees the spouse too. I'm happy to support, so we go to the appt.
Turns out, this dude's a sex therapist.
What!??! & he was soooo creepy - he had on this velour sweat suit thing that made me think of Hugh Hefner constantly in his bathrobe. Not a pretty picture, I have to say. All I wanted to do was get the hell out of there. & the guy wanted to see OH *+* us as a cpl (b/c you don't have probs by yourself). No fucking thank you. All kidding aside, that freak triggered me and I did seriously want to run the hell out of there. I don't even like putting this in black and white.
12) Dr. H., my current T. She is superb. I cannot believe my good fortune in finding her. She is a GP Psychotherapist, so she is pd by provincial healthcare. She is one of those life-long learners (I admire that) & she really keeps up with things. I don't know how she does it. I am blessed. She is also willing to get additional help for me. She works with my family dr about the meds. She is also offering me cancellations so that I can go 2x/wk when possible b/c I feel so crappy lately. (+ she has not 1, but *2* cats!!)
If I remember any more, I'll update this.